Barn Raising

There has been a litteral barn raising at my homestead and it reminds me of the Amish community near my hometown. My grandparents would take Jon and I there when we were kids. The Amish gave my grandfather a loan to start his business. They are amazing hard working people that cooperatively support one another and view the whole of the community as providing strength for the individual.

That's exactly what I needed in my life. My home project list was as never ending as the rain that prevented me from painting my house all year. We scraped, sanded, power washed but to no avail there wasn't 14 dry days in a row needed for the paint to take. Until the past two weeks, and with a business trip looming, the Butterfield family, my friends Adam, Brandon, and the  neighborhood kids worked 16 hour days knowing the paint on that house is the one thing keeping my refinance from helping to get my grandmother's title off my property as collateral, so that if necessary she can go to a nursing home. (PS. I love my grandmother as much or more than any human being on this planet.)

The house is painted. The estimator comes today. I depart for my business trip in the morning.

Before and after pictures coming when the trim is complete, until then here is a picture from when we started the painting project in February. We had to sand the whole house and replace rotten wood. I've learned so much, including how to run several types of saws, an angle grinder, belt sander, power washer and paint sprayer. I could go Amish or into the labor field if credit unions don't work out. (wink)

Trip to Turkey!

I'm honored to share that the Acacia Foundation invited me on behalf of my firm Credit Union Strategic Planning to participate in a cultural trip to Turkey to develop mutual understanding between Turkish and American people. I am deeply moved to visit my second predominantly muslim, democracy to study their economy, culture, history and of course the presence of cooperatives and credit unions.


I learned much during my 2006 trip to Mali, West Africa. It too is a predominantly Muslim nation with a thriving democracy. The role of cooperatives and credit unions there, inspired much of my community development credit union work during the last three years.


We depart for Turkey next month! My passport is ready. 

Christmas Gifts in the Tub

It was much easier to live with the bathtub in the living room for a few days than the refrigerator for a few months; and the bath rehab was a ton more fun.

 Why? Possibly the creative adventure of going potty (without a potty) or diving into my first tile job.  Honestly, I didn't think I had it in me to do all of this construction. But it was nothing compared to skydiving-or Melina, Scott and I kick starting Credit Union Strategic Planning. So why am I  timid about this construction business? I'm about to get over it. Ok, I'm over it. We are doing it. Heck, I'm doing it with a little help from my friends. I can't believe that I fooled myself into thinking this was too much for me to do as a single mom earlier this year. This year has been a blessing for affirming my faith. It's all God.


Status Check: The back house is nearing the home stretch. It now has walls, windows, doors AND the electricity was powered up this week.The countdown to 2010 is on. Dylan recieved his first A on his report card last week (and he earned several). And we added another staffer at Credit Union Strategic Planning- my old colleague and dear friend, Marilyn De Lucia.

Christmas is coming and the gifts disguised as challenges are rockin' my world. Throw some more my way, God. (I'm smiling, grateful and enjoying an occasional bathtub in the living room for a day or four.)

Merry Anything You Celebrate. Merry Christmas!

$500,000, Einstein, NYC and a Long Lost Friend

It's my favorite work of art, because it comes to life in person. I haven't visited it in over ten years. It took $500,000 to get there and I arrived at the MET with the man who stole my heart as a boy seventeen years ago in high school.

The art is Autumn Landscape by Louis Comfort Tiffany. The $500,000 is a US Treasury grant Melina, Scott and I (Credit Union Strategic Planning) landed to help immigrants in Harlem to lift themselves out of poverty. Did you know that immigrants are the poorest of the poor in the U.S. for three generations? And my renewed friendship is with one of the finest people I've ever had the pleasure of calling a best friend. Back in high school he bagged groceries at the store and I worked at the restaurant across the street. Back then he was my first crush. Now he is a remarkable father, brother, son, veteran, and more remarkable friend than I could have imagined. We hadn't seen each other for over 15 years- so of course we met up in
NYC (smile). Like me, he works to help people. And our friendship is a gift, like all things in life- even hardships. His sister remarked that the timing of our friendship was good for him. She had no idea of the good timing in my life for a positive male influence to reaffirm my faith in men treating women with respect. We both lifted each other up and that is where happiness comes from: Our way of being.

Everyday my faith (in a loving God) is affirmed by life. It's occurring to me that the spirit of God in us, the way we are made in the likeness of God means that when we create anything in life it is divine. We see this in the inspiring works of art that are created by Tiffany or the feeling of awe from inventing an opportunity to be a positive change agent in the world. I'm also astounded by the story of Jesus having faith to die on the cross for our sins, and it's profound beauty in reflecting the good that can happen in our own lives and the world when we embrace fear and take a leap of faith to turn adversity (Any hardship. See the 911 memorial cross in the picture) into an opportunity for humanity, kindness and love. As I look at the challenges I've faced this last year, and how the circumstances were altered by surrendering to God and choosing faith instead of fear, I see the gift of a graceful and powerful life.

And that is what's going on in life right now. To that end Melina and I offered Scott Butterfield ownership in Credit Union Strategic Planning and the position of CEO. He accepted our offer and we immediately picked up clients in Alaska, California and Louisiana. The word is out that we are saving small credit unions and helping consumers.

And the H1N1 I picked up in Ohio (yup mom and I got really sick) laid me up at my mother's house, just long enough to let her make me homemade chicken noodle soup, for us to love one another and appreciate all the health and happiness we take for granted.

So I'm jumping on a plane from Ohio back to Tacoma tomorrow. Dylan's sock hop is this weekend and I'm certain to have a great time with the kids and my friends Jenny, Karl and Ayana. Life really couldn't be any better- with the exception of maybe getting to spend a week or a month with my Grandma Jeanne. Guess I'll have to come back to Ohio next month. That I will work on until then, Thank you God for all of the blessings in my life..

Good Times

Dylan and I have hit our work hard, play hard stride. Dylan's grades have skyrocketed. He is taking caring for the pups seriously. And soccer is in full gear. My dear friend Karl Kilga (Claire and Travis' dad) is D-man's soccer coach.



Karl works the boys out so hard they come home EXHAUSTED.












The Kilga kids, Karl, Dylan and I have been close for years; I even taught Claire how to ride her bike. While the boys work the soccer field, Claire and I relax with the puppies, swing on the playground and taunt each other with double dutch jump rope challenges. With work in full gear (The US Treasury CDFI Fund opened a new $113 million round) and my promise not to work at all after picking Dylan up from school, Tuesdays and Thursdays have officially become my favorite days of the week.



Melina and I are embracing a tremendous work milestone this week. We are celebrating the one year anniversary of our business with gratitude for the amazing people we work with and good that we are doing. As I've said before, the world is reflecting our good intentions back at us. It is amazing. I never dreamed our business would be so healthy after one year. I cried tears of joy this week. The sustainability is awe inspiring as we add new clients from across the country every week including credit unions in Sonoma and Louisiana this last week. Thank God. Thank God. Good times.

Saling Under the Harvest Moon

September in Seattle (and Tacoma) is marked by cool air that chills the nape and the last of the zucchini blossoms. In the Garden of Goodness, a beautiful bounty of squash, cucumbers, peppers, leeks, tomatoes, and lima beans was lit by the harvest moon this weekend. It also sparkled across the water of Elliott Bay (read on).

The seeds we’ve sown and nurtured have blossomed and bore fruit when we reap our harvest. These past few months I planted seeds of my own to:

1. Regain my self-love.

2. Establish boundaries to improve my parenting and protect my home and finances.

3. Step faithfully beyond the fear of the unknown with my business and construction projects.

4. Be the integrity that my word represents my intentions to the world.

5. Forgive and release energy focused on the past.

The (symbolic) garden of my life is overflowing with freshness..


Dylan started the fifth grade last Wednesday. We made an agreement on the house rules. After setting the rules, I asked, “Is there anything that would keep you from living with these rules? Now is the time for us to change anything you can’t live with.” He asked if we could have a rule that I take him to school 20 minutes early everyday. I said, “No problem,” and kept my promise all week, as I will for the remainder of the year. He also kept his word about living with the rules.

For the first time ever, on Thursday he asked, “Is there any other chores I can do for you, mom?” AMAZING! The rules and expectations are building his motivation and confidence. He wants to exceed my expectations.

I too want to exceed my own expectations (and his). In business, we closed two more U.S. Treasury grant writing contracts last week- and picked up a strategic planning client in Sonoma, CA.

What about personal joy? I mentioned, “the moon sparkled on Elliot Bay.” I’ve been so heartbroken these last few months, that I forgot that spending time with an attractive, charismatic man could be enjoyable and romantic. I went on a date on Friday- let my hair down, laughed, smiled and was swept off my feet for an evening. It’s been so long since I’ve felt remotely interested in a man. And really it has been about me loving myself enough to let go of something that didn't work to create an opening in my heart for something that could.



I’m letting go of the sadness. It’s not hard when the option is to sit in mourning or to graciously accept roses during a sunset cruise from someone that just wants to get to know me.

The message at my spiritual center today was simply be light and feel joy. That seams like a way to be grateful for the things we’ve nurtured and grown in our lives.

Leap of Faith

I jumped out of a plane yesterday and it was spiritual. In fact I'm jumping into a whole new life. At first I was terrified by all of the life changes. That fear was debilitating. Can I manage the huge home construction project as a single mom? Can I make my business soar without a loving partner to back me up? Then I decided to take control and turn that fear into faith. I tackled the challenges one at a time- and with faith each step I took turned into a giant successful leap. Yesterday I went skydiving to change my entire mindset. It was AMAZING! Remember this is your life and fear can only paralyze you, if you let it. Im choosing to live an empowered life. I am letting go of my fear to make my dreams come true. See my bliss. ( My smile is nearly blinding in this video.) It is in you too.





Separately, I recieved amazing news today. This blog was named #29 on the list of 100 Incredible Philanthropy Blogs by Bible College Reviews.

The review said, "With many people out of work and struggling to make ends meet, charitable giving and philanthropy is more important than ever to help people domestically and around the world get on their feet and lead better lives. If you’re interested in learning how to give back or want to find out more about people and organizations dedicated to philanthropy, the web is a great place to start. These blogs will help you get a clearer picture of philanthropic projects large and small, and ways that you can get the greatest result from dedicating your time or money."

And goes on in the list to describe my blog, "This mom uses this blog as a forum to talk about the community projects they work with in their hometown."

I've been writing much more about spirituality and God's connection to my decision to create an enjoyable life and actively contribute to community. My wonderful church Genesis Global Spiritual Center has guided me to a much more graceful life. I am grateful for the beautiful place of unconditional love it is in my life and community.

Transition to the Present and Future

I am filled with joy that Dylan comes home this weekend. Plans are for a night of volunteering with friends on Saturday, Genesis and meditation on Sunday morning and old-fashioned ice cream making Sunday in the heat of the day.

In the mean time, Dylan’s trip to Portland (and its divine timing) created a graceful transition of Luke out of our lives without causing Dylan more sadness. Little guy was as shocked and torn up as I was. The truck came and went this weekend and God opened a new door for a dependable, honest, caring man to walk into our lives to love us and let us love him - WHEN we are ready.

Counter balancing the move, my dear friend Robbi provided inspiring entertainment to ensure my focus remained on the present and future- not fantasies of a false past. I can see now that I was wrong about Luke being my life partner and that many good things came from it. As a single mom, I would never have started my business if I didn’t think I had the stable backing of a caring, dependable partner. And I love my business. Melina, Scott and I are doing phenomenal work. We've written $10 million in US Treasury grants with clients from New York to Hawaii. The world can only continue to reward our hard work, vision and talent. Thank God Luke was in my life at the time, so I would have that false sense of security to take the leap of faith to start this business. It really is a miracle. My friend Stacy had tears of pride in her eyes when we talked about the impact our work is having to make the world a better place.

Speaking of miracles, everything my mom, brother and I planted from seed has sprouted. Every single plant is in full bloom in the "garden of goodness." I cooked the first meal from the garden this weekend. It was a fun Sunday, getting filthy dirty and the perfect juxtaposition after attending a Gala event with Robbi on Friday.


On the home front: The shingles are on the house. This was a top priority to protect the exposed insulation. I felt very overwhelmed about all that needed to be done when Luke first left. I’m so grateful that this is off the list. And a generous electrician volunteered to bring the electrical wiring up to code. This also scared the hell out of me. We couldn’t even pass inspection and I didn’t know a darn thing about electricity. Now to figure out how to finish the tiling that has part of the floor exposed. I’m tackling one thing at a time.


For now it’s a good mix of accepting best friend love, reflection and centering, a whole gob of welcome home Dylan hugs and a focus on small tasks to make this house a home again. Ok work and personal development are in the mix too. Robbi and I both registered for the August Landmark Forum Class.

In the end God’s plans are more beautiful and natural than my ideas. There were and continue to be many gifts through this life experience. So I am surrendering .

Doing Good

Back in the day (elementary school), I had a tormenting friendship with the boy who went to my church and lived at the end of the street. He was a stinker and I was a prissy little girl. In middle school, he fell (or I pushed him) off of his trampoline. In high school, he had a visible hump on his back. I always felt guilty (because he teased) that I gave him that hump during the famed "trampoline incident." We were good buddies through the tormenting, teasing and life's accidents. Our first jobs were at the strawberry farm together. We were in drivers ed. together and even confirmed and left our church at the same time when they fired our beloved minister. We graduated high school and haven't seen each other since.

He called today and it's been over 15 years. He heard of Dylan's and my heart break, my facing life's challenges head on and like so many other friends was just extending his friendship (over miles and years). He called to offer to come out and help me with my home construction woes and to give pearls of wisdom about life, kids and common sense. One of the many things he said that touched me,

"If you do nice things and you're a good person, people will help you."

(even after you push them off a trampoline, apparently)

His wife and kids are lucky to have him, as am I to have such a wise friend.

Writing of friends and doing good, Melina and I had a great trip to Loon Lake to support our friend Demaris. We shared our gifts: Melina sang at her wedding and I took the photos.

Demaris was a beautiful bride.

Thanks

A genuine and vulnerable message to friends and family:

I am grateful for your love and support. It's been a hard time. To remain authentic, I have not posted any vibrantly happy pictures during the last month. This post is just to let you know that the ground is solid and I am landing on my feet. Dylan is visiting his grandparents in Portland as I mange our life transition. We will soon be back in Ohio for an extended visit to heal and feel the warmth and security that embraces children when they visit mom. Mom, I can imagine your hug now.

As for this traumatic experience, it has been an unexpected gift. Friends have placed supportive hands under my arms, as I pull myself back to my feet. Furniture, construction help and prayers have come in endless supply from local business friends and our spiritual center. An electrician even volunteered to finish the half-done project of our kitchen that won't pass inspection. Friends will teach me how to place the shingles that leave our home vulnerable to the weather. By surrendering to grace, a contract came in that will ensure that Dylan and I can keep our home. When we received the call, I shared tears of joy with Melina (my biz partner). Our clients saw the results of our work and asked for more- at what was really the moment of truth. With God's perfect timing, after two month's of panic attacks related to finances and a fear of abandonment that actually came true, the contract came in the day after the negativity and dishonesty walked out the front door. (Said with compassion that it is not meant to shame someone I care for so deeply.) When it appeared all was lost, all there was to do was pray. The results are affirming, reminders to choose faith over fear.

The state of shock is passing. Life is getting better every day. The heartbreak and empathy is still raw. It's hard to decisively let go of someone you love when they are making destructive choices, but necessary. And what appears as destructive or selfish from my perspective is different from another's shoes. It is a healthy choice for the people we love to be real, even when the person they choose to be harms us. We can't be what someone else wants us to be, even when it is humane or loyal- if it is not who we are. I'm just glad to see the truth now. Thank God it was just during financial crisis not while facing illness or tragedy. My love for myself and the man I've loved so well- remains steadfast even with the need to maintain the separation. That love lives in the belief in our separate, personal growth.

As Einstein lived so profoundly, "In adversity there is opportunity." Yes, I am saddened by the disappointment. Concurrently, I am joyous about the opportunity for personal growth and to surrender to God's grace. Beyond those profound gifts, like never before I am able to see and receive the love-of friends, family and community. As the truth unfolds more and more beautiful opportunities are emerging. We must be on the right path. The good I am putting out into the world is coming back to me magnified by ten.

I have remarkable work to do in the world. Thank so many of you for sharing these words. I am listening and ready again to instigate goodness.

Be well. As will I.

Deep gratitude to you: Marilyn, Melina, Robbi, Scott, Shayne,Lois, Ed, Jenn, Joshua, Mom, Jon, Jess, my neighbors, David, Vic, Stacy, Mary and Jim, Reider, Brian, Dad, Grandma, Jake, Linda and Sue. Your love is a treasured gift.

Thank you Mrs. Butterfield

My friend Scott Butterfield is a master with numbers in a way that I may never know in this lifetime. So it is that Scott and I are connected at the computer-hip this month as our team writes US Treasury Grant Applications.

His wife Lora is his mental match, the Executive Director of the Bonney Lake Chamber of Commerce and a domestic goddess. To break the monotony of the hard work and impact on our families, Lora and Scott invited Dylan, Luke and I over for an after work BBQ on Sunday



After hours of toiling over numbers, I joined Luke and Dylan for a jump on the Butterfield's trampoline.


























Lora's strawberry shortcake was the sweetest part of the evening.

Gratitude Call

Yesterday I received a beautiful message from a dear friend, Charles. He was making his "gratitude calls". How amazing is that, seriously!

I thought about how warm his call left me feeling. The call wasn't just about thanks for the fun projects we are working on together. He actually thanked me for being me. Can you imagine? Profound. It left me thinking about the people I am grateful for just because they are: Jon, Robbi, my mom, Brian. The list is long and if you are reading this, I'm grateful. Guess I need to make a few calls.

Beyond the love that surrounds us, I'm grateful for the simple things.

Dylan and I are on a mini-vacation at his grandparent's in Portland. Yesterday, we spent a beautiful morning at the farmer's market. Do you see how grateful Dylan is for the banana bread his papa purchased for him (see picture)? I took my camera and shot a few pics of colorful, fresh veggies. Wow, how lucky we are to have such simple beauty in our lives. I'm grateful for that and so much more. Life is good.