Dylan and Jamo: The Community We Create

I'm a geek for community building. How can we love where we live? Make it the community we love to live in...with action.

Dylan and I love to give to and receive help from friends. We also volunteer a bit. The video (see below) is a PSA that featured our family. While we were not the biggest donors, the idea is that if I can give $100 as a single mom, you can too.




YWCA Pierce County "What Can You Do?" from Jason Ganwich on Vimeo.







The YWCA was the first domestic violence shelter in Washington state. Our community is a better place to live with a safe place for women and children to escape domestic abuse.

Such Great Heights

This spring has been beautiful with mist and sunshine producing a rainbow over Tacoma at least once a week, and there is a pot of gold under it, I swear.  Einstein blessed us all with his philosophy, "in adversity there is opportunity." The adversity is nearly a vague memory, even my attachment to it. Now the opportunities that continue to unfold are taking my life to such great heights!

Such Great Heights Top Ten List:

10. Inventing a new exercise regime resulting in my trainer guiding me to beat all of the men at the gym to gain the most lean muscle mass during the Fitness Challenge. My weightlifting and yoga with SkyAnn has become an incredible spiritual practice with affirmations between weight sets like, “I am one with God,” and “I am strong, powerful and focused,” held in warrior two position with an archer movement. This focus has direct application to getting results with my home and work.

9. Amsterdam in August. I am actively pursuing affordable ways to broaden my experience of the world. The planning is paying off. Another consultant offered to do a brief home exchange. Details to come…

8. The guest cabin is finished and officially a revenue stream that produces financial stability with a renter that also enhances my quality of life. My long-time friend, Sam Dollar, friend of both Graef kids and all around good guy is great fun and help to have around. The cabin is there if Grandma ever wants to come live with me. It could also be a future office as Credit Union Strategic Planning continues to grow.

7. Quality family time at Camp Seymour with Dylan, one of the best weeks every with my son. We canoed, climbed a giant rock wall, and made new friends. My co-cabin leader Kelly, ended up becoming one of my dearest friends. She’s from New Zealand and a real kiwi.

 (My camp uniform)

(Dylan smiling on a big canoe.)

 

(My cabin pranksters: We stole the boys' shoes, including Dylan's.)

6. Credit Union Strategic Planning is rocking. The Congressman’s Office called us to offer official Congressional Recognition for the American Debt Relief Challenge. And after adding Scott as our CEO the quality of work continued to exceed expectations. The reward is in the referrals. We will be speaking at the national Community Credit Union Conference as experts on The US Treasury CDFI grants in Boston in October. Landing the largest individual credit union grant from the Obama Administration’s Recovery Act Funds had a little something to do that.

5. Recovered pictures from Africa. After the 2006 World Trade Center Tacoma  Goodwill Mission to Africa debrief at the University of Washington with Congressman Adam Smith, my hard drive deleted my photos. I was bummed. Most of the trip was spent studying poverty reduction and visiting credit unions and cooperatives. A conversation this week with my brother and viola, he had backups the whole time!

4. Paying off debt. It feels good to be complete with my word. Money is just a means to exchange value. I value my word and am being100% complete with my word, beyond legal obligation. (Even paying cheating ex-boyfriend who I don't legally owe money. I did care deeply about him and have the respect to bring closure for myself.)

3. Being a role model for friends who see I made it through a hard time to show them they will get through it too. Two friends have called me on the brink of taking their lives during the last year. Both have thanked me for being there at the critical time, being unwavering in my demand that they deal with it head on, and being so honest about my own challenge last year that they weren’t embarrassed to talk to me. Several other friends have sought assistance with starting their own businesses. It feels good to be a reliable friend.

2. My brother desires to plant another garden this year. Scott and his boys want to help build the fence. Whitney is committed to lead the old concrete removal and I will have a new back yard when we paint the back house to get ready for a refinance. The goal, thank my grandmother for believing in me by getting her name off the loan.

1. I feel like myself again and life is rocking. And with that comes the realization that I am best when I am fully being me. And with that comes the knowledge as a parent to support Dylan fully being himself. 

(Dylan during a recent trip to Washington DC visiting Cousin Simon.)

 

I am motivated to action by my awareness that what holds us in the same place is only what we do not do. And wow I am not in the same place now I was at this time last year. I got rid of all of the negative influences. Took action on every opportunity and am making life the reality I desire to live…

Ever Feel Just Incredibly Blessed?

After a month of traveling from Sonoma, CA to NYC for work, I came home to see this sign. The porch was decorated with ten beautifully carved, lit pumpkins. The whole house was clean, including the boys room, the dishes, fresh sheets. This is all the work of the amazing, magnificent (drum roll please) Jenny Arde.

Jenny (pictured with beau Todd) is a single mom, like me. She owns her own business, again ditto. She is renting the spare room in my home and her son and Dylan are sharing a room while construction finishes on my investment house, the mother-in-law home on my property. She will move into that home at the end of the month. And what's brilliant is: we lift each other up! We help one another with the kids, cooking, laundry and she is bringing so much to the table on the construction projects from drywall hanging to painting. The business she owns is a painting company. So while she builds equity in my properties, I am giving her slashed rent so she can save her money away to buy a home for her and her son.

Here's a photo of our boys with their best bud Travis before last week's soccer game. This week Ashton cleaned Dylan's room and left a note for him that said, "Thanks for being a really good friend. Love, Ashton." Dylan and I are so blessed to have such great friends in our lives.



Speaking of, for her birthday, one of my dearest friends, Robbi Firestone took me to see Teatro Zinnzani. It was amazing. She won the tickets at a philanthropic event she attended this summer. We had the best time. Robbi does so much good in the world, it doesn't surprise me that the universe gave something remarkable back to her. Last year alone Robbi donated over $30,000 to local non-profits from her art. She is a world class oil portrait artist. My favorite story is her donation to Camp Korey, which is a retreat for children with life threatening illnesses.

With all of this gratitude, how could I not instigate something to give back to the world. When I got sick from my trip to Ohio and stayed home with my mom, I was spoiled by her homemade chicken noodle soup. As soon as I got back to Tacoma, I made a quadruple batch of soup and delivered it to sick friends. Everyone is sick right now and so many people don't have insurance- or even moms close by to make soup. So I threw the idea onto Facebook as the Chicken Soup Movement to encourage others to do the same and 134 people from across the country have accepted or passed it onto others to join to make soup for sick people in their neighborhood. Crazy, awesome! Check it out.

Last week before school

It's the last week before school starts and what does that mean for kids? It's the last week to help mom out! (hehe) Actually, Dylan's been at his grandparents in Portland for most of the Summer. It has been a joy to have him back.

I've grown as a parent during these few short months. I realized we needed a few rules, boundaries and for me to clearly communicate my expectations- so he could exceed them. And boy was this the best idea I've ever had. He loves that I am letting him know what to expect up front. So much so, that he looked forward to his chore of washing the car, told me that it was his bed time and offered to make me coffee in the morning.

I can't imagine the coffee making is a permanent thing, but I believe the respect is sustainable. I realized that being consistent with bed time, home work time and expressed rules and consequences is actually showing him respect. We reap what we sow.

It's going to be a great year.

Transition to the Present and Future

I am filled with joy that Dylan comes home this weekend. Plans are for a night of volunteering with friends on Saturday, Genesis and meditation on Sunday morning and old-fashioned ice cream making Sunday in the heat of the day.

In the mean time, Dylan’s trip to Portland (and its divine timing) created a graceful transition of Luke out of our lives without causing Dylan more sadness. Little guy was as shocked and torn up as I was. The truck came and went this weekend and God opened a new door for a dependable, honest, caring man to walk into our lives to love us and let us love him - WHEN we are ready.

Counter balancing the move, my dear friend Robbi provided inspiring entertainment to ensure my focus remained on the present and future- not fantasies of a false past. I can see now that I was wrong about Luke being my life partner and that many good things came from it. As a single mom, I would never have started my business if I didn’t think I had the stable backing of a caring, dependable partner. And I love my business. Melina, Scott and I are doing phenomenal work. We've written $10 million in US Treasury grants with clients from New York to Hawaii. The world can only continue to reward our hard work, vision and talent. Thank God Luke was in my life at the time, so I would have that false sense of security to take the leap of faith to start this business. It really is a miracle. My friend Stacy had tears of pride in her eyes when we talked about the impact our work is having to make the world a better place.

Speaking of miracles, everything my mom, brother and I planted from seed has sprouted. Every single plant is in full bloom in the "garden of goodness." I cooked the first meal from the garden this weekend. It was a fun Sunday, getting filthy dirty and the perfect juxtaposition after attending a Gala event with Robbi on Friday.


On the home front: The shingles are on the house. This was a top priority to protect the exposed insulation. I felt very overwhelmed about all that needed to be done when Luke first left. I’m so grateful that this is off the list. And a generous electrician volunteered to bring the electrical wiring up to code. This also scared the hell out of me. We couldn’t even pass inspection and I didn’t know a darn thing about electricity. Now to figure out how to finish the tiling that has part of the floor exposed. I’m tackling one thing at a time.


For now it’s a good mix of accepting best friend love, reflection and centering, a whole gob of welcome home Dylan hugs and a focus on small tasks to make this house a home again. Ok work and personal development are in the mix too. Robbi and I both registered for the August Landmark Forum Class.

In the end God’s plans are more beautiful and natural than my ideas. There were and continue to be many gifts through this life experience. So I am surrendering .

Garden of Goodness

My mom surprised me by flying out to Tacoma from Ohio last weekend. Random? Yes, but I needed her. I'd worked myself to exhaustion on those CDFI U.S. Treasury grants. I don't think Luke knew what to make of it. Given that he leaves at 6 AM and gets home from work at 7:30 PM, we both need to keep ourselves as balanced as possible in our work/home life. There's not a lot left to give to each other at the end of an exhausting day. Personal responsibility is an important strategy for maintaining happiness. Working 18 hours a day for the month, honestly caused me to be a little down in addition to the physical exhaustion.



Mom gave love so freely that it was contagious. I couldn't believe it when she texted me that she would fly out the next day. She arrived at noon with her "joy spreading" ready to jump off the plane. She brought my brother Jon over and we went to work planting the most energizing cottage garden. My bro even buried bricks to create an adorable border. We planted squash, leeks, tomatoes, beans, peas, peppers, kale with sunflowers lining the back. There will be a feast this summer. Come our way in August. All the while Luke sawed, stained and hung the accent beam in our kitchen. I am so grateful for a weekend dedicated to family and loving our home. It was needed.

Mom wants regular garden updates, so this blog may transition to a few veggie pictures for the summer.

Hey mom the lima beans and sunflower seeds sprouted yesterday!

Love you.

Thank you Mrs. Butterfield

My friend Scott Butterfield is a master with numbers in a way that I may never know in this lifetime. So it is that Scott and I are connected at the computer-hip this month as our team writes US Treasury Grant Applications.

His wife Lora is his mental match, the Executive Director of the Bonney Lake Chamber of Commerce and a domestic goddess. To break the monotony of the hard work and impact on our families, Lora and Scott invited Dylan, Luke and I over for an after work BBQ on Sunday



After hours of toiling over numbers, I joined Luke and Dylan for a jump on the Butterfield's trampoline.


























Lora's strawberry shortcake was the sweetest part of the evening.

Harry Hogwart Tacoma

Magical beasts, crystal amulets and the kids made wands too. Wish someone could've put a spell on me. Kids parties are dizzying and Dylan's 9th birthday was a Harry Potter bash. There were fifteen or more kids running round the backyard of the historic fire station we call home (North I ST behind Dave's Meat and Produce). At the end of the day the count of wounded soldiers was not high. One little girl will have glitter in her hair for at least a week, another had a muddy pant seat and my condo neighbors were kind about the a new mythical hiding spots in our hedge.

The childish good time turned into one of urban legend when my friend Josh delivered a gag gift to the birthday boy. What does a preteen want more than a Pokemon or the latest Transformer? Well, it is NOT a My Little Pony. Dylan's reaction was hilarious and he was a trooper-even in front of his little dudes.