Thanks

A genuine and vulnerable message to friends and family:

I am grateful for your love and support. It's been a hard time. To remain authentic, I have not posted any vibrantly happy pictures during the last month. This post is just to let you know that the ground is solid and I am landing on my feet. Dylan is visiting his grandparents in Portland as I mange our life transition. We will soon be back in Ohio for an extended visit to heal and feel the warmth and security that embraces children when they visit mom. Mom, I can imagine your hug now.

As for this traumatic experience, it has been an unexpected gift. Friends have placed supportive hands under my arms, as I pull myself back to my feet. Furniture, construction help and prayers have come in endless supply from local business friends and our spiritual center. An electrician even volunteered to finish the half-done project of our kitchen that won't pass inspection. Friends will teach me how to place the shingles that leave our home vulnerable to the weather. By surrendering to grace, a contract came in that will ensure that Dylan and I can keep our home. When we received the call, I shared tears of joy with Melina (my biz partner). Our clients saw the results of our work and asked for more- at what was really the moment of truth. With God's perfect timing, after two month's of panic attacks related to finances and a fear of abandonment that actually came true, the contract came in the day after the negativity and dishonesty walked out the front door. (Said with compassion that it is not meant to shame someone I care for so deeply.) When it appeared all was lost, all there was to do was pray. The results are affirming, reminders to choose faith over fear.

The state of shock is passing. Life is getting better every day. The heartbreak and empathy is still raw. It's hard to decisively let go of someone you love when they are making destructive choices, but necessary. And what appears as destructive or selfish from my perspective is different from another's shoes. It is a healthy choice for the people we love to be real, even when the person they choose to be harms us. We can't be what someone else wants us to be, even when it is humane or loyal- if it is not who we are. I'm just glad to see the truth now. Thank God it was just during financial crisis not while facing illness or tragedy. My love for myself and the man I've loved so well- remains steadfast even with the need to maintain the separation. That love lives in the belief in our separate, personal growth.

As Einstein lived so profoundly, "In adversity there is opportunity." Yes, I am saddened by the disappointment. Concurrently, I am joyous about the opportunity for personal growth and to surrender to God's grace. Beyond those profound gifts, like never before I am able to see and receive the love-of friends, family and community. As the truth unfolds more and more beautiful opportunities are emerging. We must be on the right path. The good I am putting out into the world is coming back to me magnified by ten.

I have remarkable work to do in the world. Thank so many of you for sharing these words. I am listening and ready again to instigate goodness.

Be well. As will I.

Deep gratitude to you: Marilyn, Melina, Robbi, Scott, Shayne,Lois, Ed, Jenn, Joshua, Mom, Jon, Jess, my neighbors, David, Vic, Stacy, Mary and Jim, Reider, Brian, Dad, Grandma, Jake, Linda and Sue. Your love is a treasured gift.