Can't beat the heat- join it!

We are experiencing a record breaking heat wave in Tacoma- AND loving it. Dylan is embracing the opportunity to swim with his friends everyday. My best friend Robbi lived in LA for many years and like Dylan is enthralled with the heat. How could I do anything but join in the fun? While Robbi stained furniture in the 102 degree heat, I layed a brick patio. This photo shows the pristine nature of her artistic staining and the filthy, back breaking truth of my brick paving.

We ended the evening with Uncle Jon and Jess. I made dinner and the whole gang enjoyed homeade ice cream. We busted out the ice cream maker that dad and mom used when we were kids.

Transition to the Present and Future

I am filled with joy that Dylan comes home this weekend. Plans are for a night of volunteering with friends on Saturday, Genesis and meditation on Sunday morning and old-fashioned ice cream making Sunday in the heat of the day.

In the mean time, Dylan’s trip to Portland (and its divine timing) created a graceful transition of Luke out of our lives without causing Dylan more sadness. Little guy was as shocked and torn up as I was. The truck came and went this weekend and God opened a new door for a dependable, honest, caring man to walk into our lives to love us and let us love him - WHEN we are ready.

Counter balancing the move, my dear friend Robbi provided inspiring entertainment to ensure my focus remained on the present and future- not fantasies of a false past. I can see now that I was wrong about Luke being my life partner and that many good things came from it. As a single mom, I would never have started my business if I didn’t think I had the stable backing of a caring, dependable partner. And I love my business. Melina, Scott and I are doing phenomenal work. We've written $10 million in US Treasury grants with clients from New York to Hawaii. The world can only continue to reward our hard work, vision and talent. Thank God Luke was in my life at the time, so I would have that false sense of security to take the leap of faith to start this business. It really is a miracle. My friend Stacy had tears of pride in her eyes when we talked about the impact our work is having to make the world a better place.

Speaking of miracles, everything my mom, brother and I planted from seed has sprouted. Every single plant is in full bloom in the "garden of goodness." I cooked the first meal from the garden this weekend. It was a fun Sunday, getting filthy dirty and the perfect juxtaposition after attending a Gala event with Robbi on Friday.


On the home front: The shingles are on the house. This was a top priority to protect the exposed insulation. I felt very overwhelmed about all that needed to be done when Luke first left. I’m so grateful that this is off the list. And a generous electrician volunteered to bring the electrical wiring up to code. This also scared the hell out of me. We couldn’t even pass inspection and I didn’t know a darn thing about electricity. Now to figure out how to finish the tiling that has part of the floor exposed. I’m tackling one thing at a time.


For now it’s a good mix of accepting best friend love, reflection and centering, a whole gob of welcome home Dylan hugs and a focus on small tasks to make this house a home again. Ok work and personal development are in the mix too. Robbi and I both registered for the August Landmark Forum Class.

In the end God’s plans are more beautiful and natural than my ideas. There were and continue to be many gifts through this life experience. So I am surrendering .

Doing Good

Back in the day (elementary school), I had a tormenting friendship with the boy who went to my church and lived at the end of the street. He was a stinker and I was a prissy little girl. In middle school, he fell (or I pushed him) off of his trampoline. In high school, he had a visible hump on his back. I always felt guilty (because he teased) that I gave him that hump during the famed "trampoline incident." We were good buddies through the tormenting, teasing and life's accidents. Our first jobs were at the strawberry farm together. We were in drivers ed. together and even confirmed and left our church at the same time when they fired our beloved minister. We graduated high school and haven't seen each other since.

He called today and it's been over 15 years. He heard of Dylan's and my heart break, my facing life's challenges head on and like so many other friends was just extending his friendship (over miles and years). He called to offer to come out and help me with my home construction woes and to give pearls of wisdom about life, kids and common sense. One of the many things he said that touched me,

"If you do nice things and you're a good person, people will help you."

(even after you push them off a trampoline, apparently)

His wife and kids are lucky to have him, as am I to have such a wise friend.

Writing of friends and doing good, Melina and I had a great trip to Loon Lake to support our friend Demaris. We shared our gifts: Melina sang at her wedding and I took the photos.

Demaris was a beautiful bride.

Storm before the Peace

As my dear friend, Melina and I drove across Washington to Loon Lake, we passed seven or more dust devils (mini tornadoes). It was thrilling. We joked, hoping the largest would dissipate as the road and the tornado's path became one. Of course it did. It reminded me of the sand storm that Patrick Hogan, Linda Danforth and I were caught in beside the Niger River in the port city of Mopti, Mali, West Africa, the chaos and the peace that followed.

We arrived at Loon Lake in time for dinner, a peaceful lull in the hammock and to catch the serene last rays of the setting sun.



Storms are natural in life. Humidity and fluctuating temperatures, the calm that follows is a moment of wondrous, easy peace. The perfect moment to simply be.






This is my life right now. Thank God, my family and good decision making.

New Roommate

My new roommate, Amanda, moved in last night-divine timing. She needed a safe place to escape domestic violence. She is taking all the right steps. She filed charges, filed for divorce and our living arrangement is based on her keeping our address confidential for our safety.

She is a sweet young girl, twenty-years-old, finishing her last two months of her school program. Remarkable timing that I have a room for her and was recently open to having a roommate.

A friend of mine shared a quote today, "Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am thankful for the creative altruism that makes this living situation mutually beneficial.

Self Defense

One of my dear friends, Shayne Jasper, made this hilarious YouTube video about self defense. Tips include an open-handed slap and stomping on the perp's feet.

A little story relating to the good we put out into the world returning to us- I helped Shayne to start his business last year: Train with Shayne. During that time he has been one of the driving forces behind my regaining my health and moving from a size 12 to a size 6. As I've gone through life's challenges this past month, he's been there holding me high- like a brother. Thanks for helping me to tap back into my authentic strength Shayne. I hope the world spreads the entertainment of your funny video.

Thanks

A genuine and vulnerable message to friends and family:

I am grateful for your love and support. It's been a hard time. To remain authentic, I have not posted any vibrantly happy pictures during the last month. This post is just to let you know that the ground is solid and I am landing on my feet. Dylan is visiting his grandparents in Portland as I mange our life transition. We will soon be back in Ohio for an extended visit to heal and feel the warmth and security that embraces children when they visit mom. Mom, I can imagine your hug now.

As for this traumatic experience, it has been an unexpected gift. Friends have placed supportive hands under my arms, as I pull myself back to my feet. Furniture, construction help and prayers have come in endless supply from local business friends and our spiritual center. An electrician even volunteered to finish the half-done project of our kitchen that won't pass inspection. Friends will teach me how to place the shingles that leave our home vulnerable to the weather. By surrendering to grace, a contract came in that will ensure that Dylan and I can keep our home. When we received the call, I shared tears of joy with Melina (my biz partner). Our clients saw the results of our work and asked for more- at what was really the moment of truth. With God's perfect timing, after two month's of panic attacks related to finances and a fear of abandonment that actually came true, the contract came in the day after the negativity and dishonesty walked out the front door. (Said with compassion that it is not meant to shame someone I care for so deeply.) When it appeared all was lost, all there was to do was pray. The results are affirming, reminders to choose faith over fear.

The state of shock is passing. Life is getting better every day. The heartbreak and empathy is still raw. It's hard to decisively let go of someone you love when they are making destructive choices, but necessary. And what appears as destructive or selfish from my perspective is different from another's shoes. It is a healthy choice for the people we love to be real, even when the person they choose to be harms us. We can't be what someone else wants us to be, even when it is humane or loyal- if it is not who we are. I'm just glad to see the truth now. Thank God it was just during financial crisis not while facing illness or tragedy. My love for myself and the man I've loved so well- remains steadfast even with the need to maintain the separation. That love lives in the belief in our separate, personal growth.

As Einstein lived so profoundly, "In adversity there is opportunity." Yes, I am saddened by the disappointment. Concurrently, I am joyous about the opportunity for personal growth and to surrender to God's grace. Beyond those profound gifts, like never before I am able to see and receive the love-of friends, family and community. As the truth unfolds more and more beautiful opportunities are emerging. We must be on the right path. The good I am putting out into the world is coming back to me magnified by ten.

I have remarkable work to do in the world. Thank so many of you for sharing these words. I am listening and ready again to instigate goodness.

Be well. As will I.

Deep gratitude to you: Marilyn, Melina, Robbi, Scott, Shayne,Lois, Ed, Jenn, Joshua, Mom, Jon, Jess, my neighbors, David, Vic, Stacy, Mary and Jim, Reider, Brian, Dad, Grandma, Jake, Linda and Sue. Your love is a treasured gift.