Storm before the Peace

As my dear friend, Melina and I drove across Washington to Loon Lake, we passed seven or more dust devils (mini tornadoes). It was thrilling. We joked, hoping the largest would dissipate as the road and the tornado's path became one. Of course it did. It reminded me of the sand storm that Patrick Hogan, Linda Danforth and I were caught in beside the Niger River in the port city of Mopti, Mali, West Africa, the chaos and the peace that followed.

We arrived at Loon Lake in time for dinner, a peaceful lull in the hammock and to catch the serene last rays of the setting sun.



Storms are natural in life. Humidity and fluctuating temperatures, the calm that follows is a moment of wondrous, easy peace. The perfect moment to simply be.






This is my life right now. Thank God, my family and good decision making.

New Roommate

My new roommate, Amanda, moved in last night-divine timing. She needed a safe place to escape domestic violence. She is taking all the right steps. She filed charges, filed for divorce and our living arrangement is based on her keeping our address confidential for our safety.

She is a sweet young girl, twenty-years-old, finishing her last two months of her school program. Remarkable timing that I have a room for her and was recently open to having a roommate.

A friend of mine shared a quote today, "Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am thankful for the creative altruism that makes this living situation mutually beneficial.

Self Defense

One of my dear friends, Shayne Jasper, made this hilarious YouTube video about self defense. Tips include an open-handed slap and stomping on the perp's feet.

A little story relating to the good we put out into the world returning to us- I helped Shayne to start his business last year: Train with Shayne. During that time he has been one of the driving forces behind my regaining my health and moving from a size 12 to a size 6. As I've gone through life's challenges this past month, he's been there holding me high- like a brother. Thanks for helping me to tap back into my authentic strength Shayne. I hope the world spreads the entertainment of your funny video.

Thanks

A genuine and vulnerable message to friends and family:

I am grateful for your love and support. It's been a hard time. To remain authentic, I have not posted any vibrantly happy pictures during the last month. This post is just to let you know that the ground is solid and I am landing on my feet. Dylan is visiting his grandparents in Portland as I mange our life transition. We will soon be back in Ohio for an extended visit to heal and feel the warmth and security that embraces children when they visit mom. Mom, I can imagine your hug now.

As for this traumatic experience, it has been an unexpected gift. Friends have placed supportive hands under my arms, as I pull myself back to my feet. Furniture, construction help and prayers have come in endless supply from local business friends and our spiritual center. An electrician even volunteered to finish the half-done project of our kitchen that won't pass inspection. Friends will teach me how to place the shingles that leave our home vulnerable to the weather. By surrendering to grace, a contract came in that will ensure that Dylan and I can keep our home. When we received the call, I shared tears of joy with Melina (my biz partner). Our clients saw the results of our work and asked for more- at what was really the moment of truth. With God's perfect timing, after two month's of panic attacks related to finances and a fear of abandonment that actually came true, the contract came in the day after the negativity and dishonesty walked out the front door. (Said with compassion that it is not meant to shame someone I care for so deeply.) When it appeared all was lost, all there was to do was pray. The results are affirming, reminders to choose faith over fear.

The state of shock is passing. Life is getting better every day. The heartbreak and empathy is still raw. It's hard to decisively let go of someone you love when they are making destructive choices, but necessary. And what appears as destructive or selfish from my perspective is different from another's shoes. It is a healthy choice for the people we love to be real, even when the person they choose to be harms us. We can't be what someone else wants us to be, even when it is humane or loyal- if it is not who we are. I'm just glad to see the truth now. Thank God it was just during financial crisis not while facing illness or tragedy. My love for myself and the man I've loved so well- remains steadfast even with the need to maintain the separation. That love lives in the belief in our separate, personal growth.

As Einstein lived so profoundly, "In adversity there is opportunity." Yes, I am saddened by the disappointment. Concurrently, I am joyous about the opportunity for personal growth and to surrender to God's grace. Beyond those profound gifts, like never before I am able to see and receive the love-of friends, family and community. As the truth unfolds more and more beautiful opportunities are emerging. We must be on the right path. The good I am putting out into the world is coming back to me magnified by ten.

I have remarkable work to do in the world. Thank so many of you for sharing these words. I am listening and ready again to instigate goodness.

Be well. As will I.

Deep gratitude to you: Marilyn, Melina, Robbi, Scott, Shayne,Lois, Ed, Jenn, Joshua, Mom, Jon, Jess, my neighbors, David, Vic, Stacy, Mary and Jim, Reider, Brian, Dad, Grandma, Jake, Linda and Sue. Your love is a treasured gift.

Garden of Goodness

My mom surprised me by flying out to Tacoma from Ohio last weekend. Random? Yes, but I needed her. I'd worked myself to exhaustion on those CDFI U.S. Treasury grants. I don't think Luke knew what to make of it. Given that he leaves at 6 AM and gets home from work at 7:30 PM, we both need to keep ourselves as balanced as possible in our work/home life. There's not a lot left to give to each other at the end of an exhausting day. Personal responsibility is an important strategy for maintaining happiness. Working 18 hours a day for the month, honestly caused me to be a little down in addition to the physical exhaustion.



Mom gave love so freely that it was contagious. I couldn't believe it when she texted me that she would fly out the next day. She arrived at noon with her "joy spreading" ready to jump off the plane. She brought my brother Jon over and we went to work planting the most energizing cottage garden. My bro even buried bricks to create an adorable border. We planted squash, leeks, tomatoes, beans, peas, peppers, kale with sunflowers lining the back. There will be a feast this summer. Come our way in August. All the while Luke sawed, stained and hung the accent beam in our kitchen. I am so grateful for a weekend dedicated to family and loving our home. It was needed.

Mom wants regular garden updates, so this blog may transition to a few veggie pictures for the summer.

Hey mom the lima beans and sunflower seeds sprouted yesterday!

Love you.